Dear God, I Have Questions

My 14 year old son and I have been studying the Bible for about a month now. I have never read the whole Bible before. My son has never read the bible at all so we are a pair. Most of my knowledge of the word of God came from verbal instruction. It has been quite an experience reading parts of the Bible I have learned growing up, now reading it for myself and teaching my son at the same time. I’m looking at the chapters and verses in a whole new way. I found guided questions on a homeschool website called Easy Peasy to help us stay on track. I am surprised at how quickly my son has caught on to the concepts and deeper meanings of the Scriptures so far.

The story I am going to focus on today is in Genesis Chapter 18 and 19. I am going to take you through certain verses that stood out to me and explain my thought process as I read through these chapters.

Chapter 18; verses 20-23,26

The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the LORD. Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked?

26 The LORD said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”

The Ryrie Study Bible, New International Version (1986)

I’m pointing out these verses because after I read through chapter 19, I thought Dear God, I have questions. Before I read on, Abraham is concerned about Sodom and Gomorrah’s destruction because his nephew Lot is living there with his family so I’m going to take you to chapter 19 verses 6-8.

6 “Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him and said, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”

The Ryrie Study Bible, New International Version (1986)

The first thing that stands out to me is how horrible it was for Lot to offer his daughters to the men that were surrounding his home because the men of the town wanted to do wicked things to Lot’s two guests. ( update: I found out later that it’s a Middle Eastern custom to treat guests of their house with a higher respect. The guest would have been under Lot’s protection. It would have been Lot’s responsibility to do something and he followed through on that) I am going to read on to verses 12-13, 16, and 29.

12 The two men said to Lot, “Do you have anyone else here-sons in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here, because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the LORD against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it.”

16 When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the LORD was merciful to them.

29 So when God destroyed the cities of the plain, he remembered” Abraham, and he brought Lot out of the catastrophe that overthrew the cities where Lot had lived.

The Ryrie Study Bible, New International Version (1986)

So let’s stop here for a moment God tells Abraham he’s going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham asked God if he found any righteous would he still destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. God, said no. Then the angels go down to Sodom and Gomorrah to destroy it but save Lot and his family because the Lord was merciful and remembered what Abraham said.

The next few verses are the reason I’m sharing with you chapters 18 and 19. I also did not know this part actually happened until reading it that day with my son. We were both in shock and horror.

So Lot and his two daughters were the only survivors of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah they ran to the mountains and lived in a cave due to fear.

Ch. 19 verse 31-32, 36-38

31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth. Let’s get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family lines through our father.”

36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.

The Ryrie Study Bible, New International Version (1986)

At this point in the story my son and I just both looked at each other confused and grossed out. I didn’t know what to think about these last few verses. Again, I thought Dear God, I have questions. I wasn’t completely sure why God saved Lot and his daughters. It didn’t seem to fit because Lot was ready to give his daughters away to a group of wicked men. When I reread Chapter 19 verse 16 it said, God was merciful to Lot and his family. In verse 29 God remembered Abraham so he took Lot out of catastrophe. Then in the New Testament, we have Peter write in

2 Peter 2:7-9

and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the depraved conduct of the lawless (for that righteous man, living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by the lawless deeds he saw and heard) if this is so, then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials and to the unrighteous for punishment on the day of judgment.

The Ryrie Study Bible, New International Version (1986)

We have God being merciful to Lot and his family. This reminds me of Romans 9:18 When Paul is speaking about Moses and the Pharoah in Egypt, “Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.”

We have a couple of things going on here. God is showing mercy to Lot and his family and God remembered Abraham. I am assuming God remembers the conversation between Abraham and himself about saving any righteous left in Sodom and Gomorrah. Now that I have explained Lot’s situation, I want to bring in a real-world discussion that applies to us today. The topic of nature versus nurture. Lot’s daughters did not see anything wrong with laying with their father. They were nurtured in an environment that showed them anything goes, a “do as thou wilt” mentality. I am sure Lot tried to raise his children in the best way he could since he was looked upon by God as a righteous man. However, the city’s immoral behavior must have spread to the point of impacting his children.

God shows us in this Bible story how nurture can determine the choices people make whether moral or immoral. I think it is important to understand nurture means to take care of someone and encourage them through their growth and development. Nurturing usually comes from a good place of love and understanding but that can still cause damage to a child even without the parent or guardian realizing it. For example the phrase “helicopter parent”. The parent loves their child. They want to nurture them in the best way possible. However, this type of parenting can lead a child to be codependent, unmotivated, nervous when interacting with others, or become isolated. Which will lead to multiple difficulties for the child as they get older. I want to further explain that I do believe in nature as an important part of growth, development, and aging. Our DNA is significant in determining what we can be predisposed to, what we’re good at talent-wise, and what we lack but it is not the end all be all. The nurture piece is where that can be changed for the positive or negative. I think Lot’s story is the beginning of a bigger story of generational curses that eventually will be redeemed with Ruth and then ultimately through Jesus Christ. Ruth is a Moabite, and she chooses to be a woman of God. I don’t know her whole story yet, but I do know her lineage comes from Lot and his daughters. I really can’t wait to read her story fully.

There is another important aspect of the nature versus nurture piece to this. If you were nurtured in a way that has caused you trauma, made your path an immoral one, or you feel you’re destined to be like that parent or family member who has abused you, have faith. God can redeem you like he did with Ruth. All you have to do is accept Jesus Christ as your Savior and follow God’s will. God will lead you to salvation even in your darkest hour.

I was worried my traumas from childhood and generational curses would ruin my son. I remember the first moments of holding my son when he was born. I looked him over to make sure he had all his toes, fingers, and everything in place. At that moment he was perfect. I held him in my arms and knew I would love him forever. I also knew the reality. I was going to make mistakes as a parent and those mistakes would determine most of his future actions and emotions.

Now he is older, and I understand the world a lot better. We had a serious talk about the mistakes I have made raising him and how I plan to move forward. I explained to him that just because I made those mistakes does not mean that he can get away from his responsibilities. I reminded him of the gifts God has given him and the joy I have for the young man he has become. I noticed after that conversation my son started showing me more respect and an increase in hugs. He had not given me hugs in a while because he says he is too old for them now. I was surprised our conversation had that effect on him. I look back on it now and think it was because I was real with him, it came from love and God was pulling me towards this kind of conversation with my son.

Finally, I just want to say I am trying to understand the word of God to the best of my ability. I don’t mean to upset anyone. If you have other thoughts or opinions about this story please share in the comments.

Thank you and God Bless